A Tribute to a Class such as Ours..

We were a class. A class of 50 odd students.
Each one of us were unique. Strongly opinionated. With strong dose of individuality.
Different opinions. Different thoughts. Different cultures.
'Difference' was the word that was common between us.

'Those 4 years' was the time that was to be shared between us.
And for 4 years, we shared every passing day.
We walked into the same place.
Went thru the same procedures. Had the same education.
Laughed at the same moments. Cribbed for the same things.
And shared our lives.

Now, we have walked out into an unshared space. Living the lives for which we have been groomed for. An year has gone by so fast. And each of us have grown apart in different ways.
As we look back, to recapture everythign is not a cinch..
But what does all that mean to us now? It leaves a feeling of nostalgia, a feeling of some kind of desperation. And for many a feeling of dissatisfaction..and for a few a feeling of futility..

This is an attempt to try to capture its meaning in a few lines. I beleive its jus an attempt. Nothin more.


***
We were a class. A class of 50 odd students.
Each one of us were unique. Strongly opiniated. With a strong dose of individuality.
Different opinions. Different thoughts. Different cultures.
We have a had a lot of opininons.. a hell lot of differences..
Many misgivings.. many more forgivings..
Lot of tears.. Lot more happiness..

They were times when we were jus gorwing up..
They were times when we were jus learning to live with others..
Times when we made a lot of mistakes..
and failed to accept them..
Times when we expected others to think like us
and blamed those who dint..
Times when we dint give others the space that they needed
when we loved to gossip and know more of everyone else's..
Times when we so much immatured
to think back now it seems all silly..

'Difference' was the word that was common between us.
But we had jus failed to respect it.
'Individuality' was our strength
But we failed to realise it.
'Immaturity' was our shortcoming
And we thrived in it.

'Goodness' was the one that was common to us.
And still is!


However far we stride, to hear that some one of us is getting married would bring a smile to our face.
Howmanyever new relationships we make, to meet someone of us somewhere, would make us happy.
However different we get, a mishap to one of us, would make our hearts heavy.
However rich we become, to think of the times when we borrowed a Rs.10 from someone would make us giggle.
However much code we write, we would love to think back about the boolean logics that we wrote in the labs.
Howmanyever events we get to organise, aBaCUS 2006 would remain sweet in our memories.
However much we travel, a photo of the our class rooms would make us sigh.
However old we get, a thought of our farewell party, would make us nostalgic.
However busy we become, we would pay anything to live a day of that life again.

And that is us.
We were a celebration of ourselves.. the maverick our 'self's..
A nasty celebration of each other..
A disparaging celebration of each other..
And yet a celebration!
That is us.

***


PS : 2002-06 batch of BE CSE, College of Engineering, Guindy, Anna University.

She and Me.

She came upon me with a beautiful smile.

It jus another friday morning. Blank monitors. Long mails. Lines of code.
I sat there mousing my fingers over the mundane mousePad . Wondering whether my fingers would erode over the years. Soon, I would be one year old! Jus one year? It seemed long. And it has already left me wondering, alone and unheard.

Then , she came upon me with a beautiful smile. Suddenly and happily.


I looked at her and my mind took to a different plane. If only I could make her mine! If only!
I was longing. Yearning. Dreaming. Not hoping.
With her, I would travel across the world.
Breaking the chains that have bound me all my life.
Take with me no one but myself.
Feel my self. Live my self.
And Realise myself.


I tried hard. I hurt myself.
But, the chains were hard to break.
I was tired. It would not let go.
I protested. I pleaded. I begged.
I yelled. I blamed. I sweared.
I was tired. Tired of trying all my life.
I cried.

And, I let her pass.


Others called her an Opportunity.
I called her My Spirit. My own freedom.
She was to be my first breath of fresh air.
An air of a different world. A world that would be mine.
Where, I would be mine.


I have let her pass.



Today, another Friday morning. Blank monitors. Longer mails. Lines of code. She was no where to be seen.



I have let her pass.

The Place And The Past

And the scene unfolds in front of me. It was a scene I had always imagined. The grey road meandering across the little lush gardens to reach her.
The Mighty her. The Monumental her. Our Paradised her.
There she was, seated in her majestic throne - every year, as men and women walked into her pedestals as strangers and walked out connected.

My eyes search for a difference. I smile :) She looks jus the same - unmoved by all those lives she had touched - deeply, warmly and proudly.
I step on to the grey road. Memories flood me racing past my mind. The Memories of a Lifetime.
But my mind freezes on one of them. And the scene in front me changes.


It was in the early months of 2004. Our campus was adorned with lights and decorations. Every tree and every structure was clad in an armor of dazzling blaze in celebration of their ever-reigning queen. For she was the most joyous part of the evening. With strings of quivering bright beads strung across her entire massive structure, she was glowing in her defining red luminescence. That day, our proud Goddess was celebrating herself. And her every year of existence, essence and significance.

I was walking the road with a friend and I remember being happy.
The road was crowded. Groups of friends roaming around, posing and clicking snaps. Gigling and smiling, everyone seemed to be celebrating. She seemed to be so contagious!
There was not a single face around me that was not reflecting the refreshing luminosity of our dear campus. Radiant as it was!
As we walk the road, there is silence between us. We were savoring the evening to our souls. And our silence. Like every of my close ones who found comfort in my silence.

It starts to drizzle. Yes! Rain would be her most adorned ornament. With slow steps, we move towards the huge gates. Stepping out we turn to have a final long glimpse of the celebrated. She looked as wonderful as ever!
The drizzle was now a full-formed shower. And silence was still our companion.
As it rained on her and so on us, we stood there for a long time celebrating her. Celebrating our world! Celebrating us!


I smile again. I have learnt to smile at this. As I took every step, my heart created a vaccum that my breadth was filling in patiently.
It was not a moaning. It was not a longing. It was the feeling for the place. And the feeling for the past.
As i moved towards her, I wondered about the many people who had rejoiced this campus - as a home away from home.
About the 'they's of the we. About the 'he's of the them. And the 'she's of the us.
About the tears of the smiles. And the pains of the happiness.
About the solitutde of companies. And the company of loneliness.
About the friends of me. And the me in friends.

I walk the road. There is silence here too. But now today .. I wish I have a hand to hold.

__
PS :

Her - The Red Building.
An imagination ( and so an exaggeration!!) of how my visit to college (College of Engineering, Guindy, Anna Univeristy) would be after a few years.
And pics of our college on one such day.